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Book: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.txt
Page: 144
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is air
gloomy. Elizabeth soon observed, and instantly understood it. Her power
was sinking; everything _must_ sink under such a proof of family
weakness, such an assurance of the deepest disgrace. She could neither
wonder nor condemn; but the belief of his self-conquest brought nothing
consolatory to her bosom, afforded no palliation of her distress. It
was, on the contrary, exactly calculated to make her understand her own
wishes; and never had she so honestly felt that she could have loved
him, as now, when all love must be vain.
But self, though it would intrude, could not engross her. Lydia--the
humiliation, the misery she was bringing on them all--soon swallowed up
every private care; and covering her face with her handkerchief,
Elizabeth was soon lost to everything else; and, after a pause of
several minutes, was only recalled to a sense of her situation by the
voice of her companion, who, in a manner which, though it spoke
compassion, spoke likewise restraint, said,--
“I am afraid you have been long desiring my absence, nor have I anything
to plead in excuse of my stay, but real, though unavailing concern.
Would to Heaven that anything could be either said or done on my part,
that might offer consolation to such distress! But I will not torment
you with vain wishes, which may seem purposely to ask for your thanks.
This unfortunate affair will, I fear, prevent my sister’s having the
pleasure of seeing you at Pemberley to-day.”
“Oh, yes! Be so kind as to apologize for us to Miss Darcy. Say that
urgent business calls us home immediately. Conceal the unhappy truth as
long as it is possible. I know it cannot be long.”
He readily assured her of his secrecy, again expressed his sorrow for
her distress, wished it a happier conclusion than there was at present
reason to hope, and, leaving his compliments for her relations, with
only one serious parting look, went away.
As he quitted the room, Elizabeth felt how improbable it was that they
should ever see each other again on such terms of cordiality as had
marked their several meetings in Derbyshire; and as she threw a
retrospective glance over the whole of their acquaintance, so full of
contradictions and varieties, sighed at the perverseness of those
feelings which would now have promoted its continuance, and would
formerly have rejoiced in its termination.
If gratitude and esteem are good foundations of affection, Elizabeth’s
change of sentiment will be neither improbable nor faulty. But if
otherwise, if the regard springing from such sources is unreasonable or
unnatural, in comparison of what is so often described as arising on a
first interview with its object, and even before two words have been
exchanged, nothing can be said in her defence, except that she had given
somewhat of a trial to the latter method, in her partiality for Wickham,
and that its ill success might, perhaps, authorize her to seek the other
less interesting mode of attachment. Be that as it may, she saw him go
with regret; and in this early example of what Lydia’s infamy must
produce, found additional anguish as she reflected on that wretched
business. Never since reading Jane’s second letter had she entertained a
hope of Wickham’s meaning to marry her. No one but Jane, she thought,
could flatter herself with such an expectation. Surprise was the least
of all her feelings on this development. While the contents of the first
letter remained on her mind
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