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Book: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.txt
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tition of those sentiments, or renewal of those
offers, which were last night so disgusting to you. I write without any
intention of paining you, or humbling myself, by dwelling on wishes,
which, for the happiness of both, cannot be too soon forgotten; and the
effort which the formation and the perusal of this letter must occasion,
should have been spared, had not my character required it to be written
and read. You must, therefore, pardon the freedom with which I demand
your attention; your feelings, I know, will bestow it unwillingly, but I
demand it of your justice.
“Two offences of a very different nature, and by no means of equal
magnitude, you last night laid to my charge. The first mentioned was,
that, regardless of the sentiments of either, I had detached Mr. Bingley
from your sister,--and the other, that I had, in defiance of various
claims, in defiance of honour and humanity, ruined the immediate
prosperity and blasted the prospects of Mr. Wickham. Wilfully and
wantonly to have thrown off the companion of my youth, the acknowledged
favourite of my father, a young man who had scarcely any other
dependence than on our patronage, and who had been brought up to expect
its exertion, would be a depravity, to which the separation of two young
persons whose affection could be the growth of only a few weeks, could
bear no comparison. But from the severity of that blame which was last
night so liberally bestowed, respecting each circumstance, I shall hope
to be in future secured, when the following account of my actions and
their motives has been read. If, in the explanation of them which is due
to myself, I am under the necessity of relating feelings which may be
offensive to yours, I can only say that I am sorry. The necessity must
be obeyed, and further apology would be absurd. I had not been long in
Hertfordshire before I saw, in common with others, that Bingley
preferred your elder sister to any other young woman in the country. But
it was not till the evening of the dance at Netherfield that I had any
apprehension of his feeling a serious attachment. I had often seen him
in love before. At that ball, while I had the honour of dancing with
you, I was first made acquainted, by Sir William Lucas’s accidental
information, that Bingley’s attentions to your sister had given rise to
a general expectation of their marriage. He spoke of it as a certain
event, of which the time alone could be undecided. From that moment I
observed my friend’s behaviour attentively; and I could then perceive
that his partiality for Miss Bennet was beyond what I had ever witnessed
in him. Your sister I also watched. Her look and manners were open,
cheerful, and engaging as ever, but without any symptom of peculiar
regard; and I remained convinced, from the evening’s scrutiny, that
though she received his attentions with pleasure, she did not invite
them by any participation of sentiment. If _you_ have not been mistaken
here, _I_ must have been in an error. Your superior knowledge of your
sister must make the latter probable. If it be so, if I have been misled
by such error to inflict pain on her, your resentment has not been
unreasonable. But I shall not scruple to assert, that the serenity of
your sister’s countenance and air was such as might have given the most
acute observer a conviction that, however amiable her temper, her heart
was not likely to be easily touched. That I was desirous of believing
her
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